Monday, August 2, 2010

august makes me queasy

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Hey ladies! I am back after a much needed break and mental relaxation.
I didn't get the nanny job which sucks but I am still looking around! Hopefully something will work out soon. Thank you for all the kind words and comments! I greatly appreciated them and love you all

August makes me kind of sick. It makes me so uneasy because of the past. Two years ago in august was such a terrible thing but lets leave that for last. I have decided to do a bunch of new things with my life. So i have a list of goals for the month of August. Every beginning of the month I will make a list and at the end I will discuss how it went. I have decided to live my life to the fullest amount possible. I don't want to be a normal 21 year old. I want to learn new and interesting things. My facebook status was something I wrote the other night because it seems like everyone is rushing into marriage and children. I don't remember exactly what it is and it somehow is missing on my fb? go figure. Anyways this is what I think.. I want to live my life to the fullest possible extent. I want to drink cheap wine and get Chinese take out with my girls. I want to date guys with foreign accents and discuss politics over tea. I want to live in a loft in the city. I want an organic garden full of veggies. I want girls nights with chick flicks that make me cry. I want to watch foreign movies with subtitles. I want to go on a month long camping trip. I want to travel the world. Study in london. I want to be a teacher, a designer and laugh all the time. I want to collect antiques. Make more art, open a cupcake shop, write a novel. I want so so so much. I want so much more than an early marriage and a baby. This is my life and I am in control of this. This is God's plan for me.

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So here is my monthly goals..
1) Finish reading Pride and Prejudice along with Sense and Sensibility. I am reading all the Jane Austen Books..although I've already read P&P
2) Learn to play the ukulele. I believe my boyfriend is going to teach me. ;]
3) Start my fall line and halloween costumes.(princess jasmine + hermione!) yeah!
4) Go on bike rides daily! I've been wanting to but just haven't had a chance
5) Start a lingerie line. My goal in highschool was to own my own undie shop with my BFF. I think it would be fun to make some pretty undergarments!
6)Paint more! Or paint every other day really..

...i think there are a few other things I contemplated earlier. I can't remember this list may be updated. I am ready to start my new life! I am ready to take advantage of my twenties. Let there be life! And *fingers crossed* that I can find a new job asap. Blehh.

love love love,

P.S. August makes me sick for a certain reason. Two years ago my heart just broke. I don't want to get into details because I know some close friends read this blog. We are all mutual friends. (friends, me and boy) So i don't want to start anything silly. Anyways, I fell for a boy I've known since I was 15. Didn't see him for like three years. We started talking. Fell for him. Had a great time visiting, hanging out, snuggling. You know usual couple stuff. Anyways, we started dating. The day I left.. he dropped me off at the bus stop to go back to Charlotte. My plane was cancelled so I hitched a ride back to the pervious destination. Spent the night with him again. I had no money left or anything because I spent my last 23 dollars on getting a ride. He dropped me off at the bus station super early in the morning knowing i had no way of getting bus fare to the airport. He gave me my suitcase, kissed me on the cheeck and said i love you darling. Then bailed. My card was obviously declined. I stood outside in the cold and rain. I cried. I called people desperately. Missed my flight. Thankfully got home that night. Worst feeling ever.


Regan said...

Have fun learning to play the ukulele! Sounds fun, and I love that first photo. xoxo

Anonymous said...

So sorry to hear a boy broke you, love, but I absolutely love the idea of making goals each month. It's so smart and definitely brave. I think I'm going to start.


SWEATshirtDRESSshirt said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SWEATshirtDRESSshirt said...

i love this post! it was really inspirational. i enjoyed reading all of the plans you have for yourself. i say you should go for it! :)

like you, a lot of people i know are getting married and having babies. it's pretty crazy. i'm 21 as well, and i consider that extremely young. the way i see it, we have the rest of our lives to experience marriage and children, so why not wait? save it for later. but i suppose the time is different for everyone.

i have some bitter memories from the month of august too. it was probably 5 years ago, i had just turned 16 a few months prior and my heart was also broken! by a stupid boy. lol! so i am right there with ya, girl!


Samantha said...

All of your goals sound great and I hope you have a wonderful time achieving them. :) I am 21 as well, I have a one year old daughter and am engaged. I sometimes envy girls who get to go out often and run around but the truth is I'd rather spend most nights in with friends and my small family. My baby is not a burden at all and I absolutely do not regret having her at an early age. I still go out with girls every once in a while and Chad and I still have random dates to keep the relationship "fresh". I am happy for you and the life you choose to live, hun but marriage and a baby is not too bad. It just is not for every girl our age.

LIZ said...

I hope you can accomplished your monthly goals well :)

Anw, i love the idea playing ukulele :) so unique

Riley said...

He's the weirdest boy evereverever. It was me right before you, actually. So I'm definitely there with you.

But now you have a wonderful boy & life to enjoy, so no worries! :) Love youuu<3

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry to hear that, but I can tell you the best thing that I always hated when people said it to me, but I now understand so much better. You'll be a much smarter dater because of that experience and there's a huge difference in the way you move on when you learn that at 20 than 25. Good luck with everything!

Come on down ... you'll love it ya' hear

kalie brynn. said...

Your goals!! They're sooooo good. All of them. I have wanted to play the ukulele for such a long time...I think you've inspired me to start pursuing that dream again! And a lingerie line? That's is the neatest thing ever! What a good idea, you don't hear too many people say they want to do that, but I imagine it must be such a dreamy job, creating such beautiful and delicate pieces of clothing.

I hate when memories give queasy feelings,that's the worst. Thank goodness what happened is in the past-- I'm sorry it had to happen at all, but look at what a strong woman you are now. It sounds like God has big and good plans for you, I think you're going to accomplish so much!

cathy. said...

I wish I could play the ukelele! Sounds like crazy fun :)

p.s. that boy's a jerk. >:(

Michelle (michabella) said...

I heart you! <333

Indie.Tea said...

I hope that you have a lovely August, full of foreign guys and cheap wine and takeout..and lots of friends and love :)

LaLa said...

wonderful post, wonderful blog, I love it!!


Glenys said...

Nice picture. All the best on the ukulele!

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