Monday, August 2, 2010

august makes me queasy

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Hey ladies! I am back after a much needed break and mental relaxation.
I didn't get the nanny job which sucks but I am still looking around! Hopefully something will work out soon. Thank you for all the kind words and comments! I greatly appreciated them and love you all

August makes me kind of sick. It makes me so uneasy because of the past. Two years ago in august was such a terrible thing but lets leave that for last. I have decided to do a bunch of new things with my life. So i have a list of goals for the month of August. Every beginning of the month I will make a list and at the end I will discuss how it went. I have decided to live my life to the fullest amount possible. I don't want to be a normal 21 year old. I want to learn new and interesting things. My facebook status was something I wrote the other night because it seems like everyone is rushing into marriage and children. I don't remember exactly what it is and it somehow is missing on my fb? go figure. Anyways this is what I think.. I want to live my life to the fullest possible extent. I want to drink cheap wine and get Chinese take out with my girls. I want to date guys with foreign accents and discuss politics over tea. I want to live in a loft in the city. I want an organic garden full of veggies. I want girls nights with chick flicks that make me cry. I want to watch foreign movies with subtitles. I want to go on a month long camping trip. I want to travel the world. Study in london. I want to be a teacher, a designer and laugh all the time. I want to collect antiques. Make more art, open a cupcake shop, write a novel. I want so so so much. I want so much more than an early marriage and a baby. This is my life and I am in control of this. This is God's plan for me.

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So here is my monthly goals..
1) Finish reading Pride and Prejudice along with Sense and Sensibility. I am reading all the Jane Austen Books..although I've already read P&P
2) Learn to play the ukulele. I believe my boyfriend is going to teach me. ;]
3) Start my fall line and halloween costumes.(princess jasmine + hermione!) yeah!
4) Go on bike rides daily! I've been wanting to but just haven't had a chance
5) Start a lingerie line. My goal in highschool was to own my own undie shop with my BFF. I think it would be fun to make some pretty undergarments!
6)Paint more! Or paint every other day really..

...i think there are a few other things I contemplated earlier. I can't remember this list may be updated. I am ready to start my new life! I am ready to take advantage of my twenties. Let there be life! And *fingers crossed* that I can find a new job asap. Blehh.

love love love,

P.S. August makes me sick for a certain reason. Two years ago my heart just broke. I don't want to get into details because I know some close friends read this blog. We are all mutual friends. (friends, me and boy) So i don't want to start anything silly. Anyways, I fell for a boy I've known since I was 15. Didn't see him for like three years. We started talking. Fell for him. Had a great time visiting, hanging out, snuggling. You know usual couple stuff. Anyways, we started dating. The day I left.. he dropped me off at the bus stop to go back to Charlotte. My plane was cancelled so I hitched a ride back to the pervious destination. Spent the night with him again. I had no money left or anything because I spent my last 23 dollars on getting a ride. He dropped me off at the bus station super early in the morning knowing i had no way of getting bus fare to the airport. He gave me my suitcase, kissed me on the cheeck and said i love you darling. Then bailed. My card was obviously declined. I stood outside in the cold and rain. I cried. I called people desperately. Missed my flight. Thankfully got home that night. Worst feeling ever.

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